he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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