I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
