yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
