I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
