Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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