the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
