i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
