I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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