No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
