Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
