Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
