Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
