Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Damn victory sex feels great
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
