I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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