we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
