He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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