I'm lost and stupid without you.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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