Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
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