if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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