Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
