i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
