There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
