My first STD was from a foam party
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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