i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize