I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
