He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
