I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Floor bacon is actually really good
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
