So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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