I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
they're like a gay fantastic four
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
