I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
