I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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