You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
