there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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