Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
