look no pants
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
