Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize