I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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