Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
