Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize