Me too!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
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