I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
