Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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