Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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