I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
