Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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