There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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