I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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