the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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