She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
