Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
