im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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