I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
