I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
