:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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