Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
