Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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