Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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