Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
