Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
