also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
