oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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