i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
