So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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