if i died would you start the facebook group?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
