New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Never underestimate the power of titties
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
