I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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