So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
