Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
