I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
